Hype Theatre: Lancome Juicy Tubes Smoothie

image from sephora.com

Good evening (or morning, whatever).  Welcome to Hype Theatre, where we examine the most hyped about products, and see whether they are worth the hype surrounding them, are just average, or are downright crap.

Today we will be examining Lancome Juicy Tubes Smoothie, the lipgloss that many women claim is their HG, the best of the best, and worth its weight in gold.

I originally received these as samples and gifts with purchase (and gifted gifts with purchase.  Thanks mom!).  While I did not receive full tubes of this product, I do have enough to make at least 3 full sized tubes, so this product has been thoroughly tested.  This product currently sells for $18 for .5oz (14.6g).

The color that I am mainly reviewing today is Coral Rush, what I would call a more coral watermelon flesh color, with subtle gold sparkle.  This particular shade shows as a light pink with a slight orange pull on my lips, very nice, and goes well with warmer weather, though it should work well in fall/winter.

The gloss squeezes out of the tube with no problem, and is not runny (think Bonnie Bell here).  Juicy Tubes gloss is more thick, and while more difficult to apply than many, is not impossible.  The color is sheer, but does show up, so a thick layer to see the color is not necessary.

The overall texture is not as sticky as, say, MAC Lipglass, but it is by no means non-sticky, like many claims want you to believe.  This is definitely in the category of "tie your hair back if it is windy, and you are wearing this gloss."  Like I stated, it is not as sticky as a lipglass, so there is less need to worry when, say, drinking tea, but there is transfer.  My lips do not stick together unattractively, and there is none of that tell-tale gloss threads when talking (you know what I'm talking about, they look kinda like spider-silk).  The stickier texture allows this gloss to stay on for a longer amount of time than it otherwise would, but it doesn't appear to have very long staying power, fading at about the 2-3 hour mark, depending on how much talking, eating, and drinking actually took place.

While there is no creeping into fine lines for me, there is a little migration that happens towards the outside of my lips.  Also, this gloss does not fade gracefully, getting stickier and more blotchy as time passes, until eventually it needs to be removed.  I cannot layer new gloss on top of old, and removal required something stronger than a paper tissue, and perhaps more elbow grease than I an comfortable exposing my lips to multiple times in a single day.

Overall, this is not worth the hype, and I would claim this is an average product.  The price is pretty reasonable compared to others in the same market (like MAC Lipglass at $14 for .17oz, Shiseido The Makeup Lip Gloss at $21 for .15oz), but compared to others in a tube (like philosophy at $10 for .5oz, Sephora Super Shimmer Lip Gloss $10 for .5 oz, Urban Decay XXX Shine Lip Gloss $16 for .4oz), it is a little high for what you are actually getting.  Those are just mid-high end glosses, as well; drugstore makeup, which I would consider to be of similar quality, is much cheaper.

Hype Theatre deems this:
Product: Not worth the hype, just average.
Price: Complete crap.

Lancôme 'Photôgenic' Skin-Illuminating Concealer SPF 15

Price: $27.50 for .16oz (4.6g)

What they say:
"A creamy-sheer, easy-to-blend concealer that hydrates and protects as it hides blemishes and dark circles. For a naturally radiant, flawless complexion that's perfect in every light. Lancôme's new Photo-Flex Complex optimizes the effects of light to perfect the look of your complexion while ginseng, ginkgo and vitamin C help energize your skin and broad-spectrum UVA/UVB sunscreens help protect the delicate eye area from sun damage. Like a second skin, it leaves a natural, powdery-soft finish. Won't cake. Won't clog pores. Won't settle into lines. In six shades to complement the seventeen shades of Photôgenic Skin-Illuminating Makeup SPF 15. Ideal for all skin types. Oil-free. Noncomedogenic. Ophthalmologist tested. Dermatologist tested. Fragrance-free."

What I say:
I originally got a sample of this at Nordstroms, when I went to return the Guerlain blush that was such a failure.  I also, at that time, bought this product with the gift card that I got as the return.  The reason I did both?  Because this was completely sold out, so I needed to get a sample until the item I bought could be shipped out.  Have I mentioned how much I love the customer service at the Nordstroms I go to (Arden Fair mall)?

I ended up getting this concealer in Camée, which, depending on what site you look at, is the second or third shade, going light to dark.  I actually don't think that it is that dark, but more salmon than the other light shade in that row, Light Buff, which looks more yellow to me.  Ivory, while I could pull it off, would not look quite right on my skin, being more of an undereye concealer color, or maybe a sallowness corrector, when compared to my flesh color.  Actually, Camée is a tad darker than I would call perfect, but nothing that blending doesn't fix, so not even this one is really a good match.  At least it's not yellow (or reverse panda).  This line could use a lot more options.

The texture of this is like a whipped cream, not like a whipped foundation.  It's thin, but highly pigmented, and when warmed becomes more liquidy.  Blending this is a dream, and it layers nicely.  It doesn't layer wonderfully, though, so if you need to add a lot of layers, you might need something thicker.  This concealer also plays nicely with others, layering over my Bobbi Brown corrector without a problem.

This can look a little cakey if you add too much, mostly when you go to add a powder on top, since the powder will stick to the concealer like wasps to a soda.  This can be solved with a little more blending, which this thing is a champeon at, so no real problem there.  It also doesn't like scabs, you know the ones, so watch it with those.

Like I stated before, this is really pigmented stuff.  The sample that I got is still going, and I haven't even opened (to use) the one that I purchased.  To give you an idea of the pigmentation, I had a that-time-of-the-month breakout of doom on my chin.  Red, large, more red, you know the type.  This stuff covered it, not completely, but to the point that it looked more like a faded scar.  I did not use foundation, I did not load this stuff on, and I did the covering in a hurry.  This stuff is strong.

The lasting power of this is really good.  Put this on, set it with a little powder, and away you go.  I never had to retouch, and it never started to slip off, or just disappear.  There is one thing that I noticed, though; watch it if you wear glasses.  I need them to drive, and happened to have a mark at the nose piece that needed to be covered.  While this did cover it, every time I wore my glasses for a decent (hour) amount of time, I would have to reblend the concealer at that spot.  It was still there, still blendable, still going strong, it had just started to gather around the outside of the nose piece.  Just thought I should point that out.

Also, I break out semi-easily.  I put this on the zit of doom, it didn't make it worse, or prolong it.  I wore it on just discoloration, no new zits, breakouts, nothing.  Good stuff.

Oh, and SPF in a concealer that can go under your eyes?  I like.

4/5  (-1 for lack of color range)